E-Mail fm our AJK - Rajan

Basically, everyday I reverse my car out in the morning ,, we angkat tangan , smile , and sometimes a brief chat ,

while she sweeps the dry leaves.... then we both are off to work .

In the evenings , the same repeats... this time the chat may drag to tea talk in the nights .. sometimes join by other of our kakis .

Now .. everyday Santhy & I peep thru my master bedroom curtain at his house with fond memories , controlling the tears in our eyes and the pain in our hearts...

and in the evening I go thru this heart pain again.

That blasted Saturday night is one disastrous nite , which devasted my mind n heart..

To be honest , my father was down with brain cancer went into stroke and died in 15th April 1997 ... tmrow is his death 13th anniversary.

But that day in 1997 , believe me I did not cry or shed a single tear as I knew well his time has come to go to the Lord,,,

but on that fateful nite I just could not hold my tears , and the next morning on Sunday when I walked into Blue Ward and saw his little boy with face swollen ,

I argued with the nurse that that's not him .. and they convinced me when he nodded that he knows me when the nurse asked -

" you kenal in uncle " - boy or boy - this kid plays with my son ,, I was devasted again ,, my tears went dry.

He told me not to Sunat my son yet , as he wants me to do it for my boy this end year during the berkhatan together with his son & Pul's son.

He told me that lets break the bench which we made together , but which is decaying in my outside garden , and remake a new one.

He told me to follow him overnight fishing.

He told me that he will drive me to his kampung in Teluk Intan to visit by using his new car.

But lastly, he was driven back forever to his kampung in a hearse ..... leaving me with memories .

This Monday 12th - 2 days ago , Santhy and a couple of indian ladies went to GH to see his wife ....

sorry friends I did not go with my wife because frankly I dare not , and want to keep her beautiful face memory and I can't afford to shed another tear ..

bcos Santhy and I are praying everyday to our God , as to offer us a miracle recovery for her .. for the sake of her children.

Life got to go on.. for these children.

We shall work together in good and bad times.

you all know ... each time time all want to meet - up ... we just used to say .. " at Pyan's tonite " .. but now we just pray and let him rest in peace in Syurga.